a hot bath, some tea, and benadryl will make it all go away

good grief.

what a shift.

I suspected that things were going to gang a bit agley during this shift when I stepped into the ladies' room before starting my shift.  While applying powder and lipstick, I saw this conversation between a woman and her three-ish grandson, who was washing his hands:

Grandson:  "Don't WANNA wash hands!"

Grandma: "Okay, then just wipe them with this wet paper towel."

(Grandson does so, then throws wet and germy paper towel on the floor.  His older sister reaches to pick it up.)

Grandma: "Oh, just leave that; they get paid to do that." (ie, clean up such messes)

They leave restroom.  They couldn't have known that I worked there.

What the heck?  Oh, c'mon, ubicaritas, I said.  This one thing doesn't mean that the shift is going to go badly.  Honestly, lighten up already.

Not ten minutes later, I am blissfully sipping an iced coffee.  I go to set it on a shelf at the customer service desk and somehow misjudge the distance.  I spend the next twenty minutes wiping  hazelnut latte off of the desk, the computer screens, the binders, the phone book, the keyboards, the signs, etc.  How on earth did eight ounces or so of liquid splatter that far and that effectively?  Eh, whatever.  Didn't really need the caffeine anyway, right? 

The phone rings.  "Do you sell books by black authors?" No, we have a strict whites-only policy.  "Yes ma'am, we do."

Help various customers. 

The phone rings again.  "So y'all are selling books now?"  No, we've decided to focus exclusively on armadillos..  "Yes, we do."

Help various other customers, many of whom want to know if we have items in stock, but don't want them when we do.  What the heck?

The phone rings again.  "Do you have AP study guides?"  "Yes, we do; for which AP test did you need a guide?"  "Um, like, the AP test!"  "Yes, but which one?  English?  Literature?  Physics?  US History?"  "Um, I dunno." My suggestion:  don't.  even.  bother.

Help more customers, one of whom has been assigned to read "the fiction (?!?!!!!) book Hiroshima" for his summer reading list.  I discovered during the course of the conversation that this person a) was a sophmore in high school and b) did not know that Hiroshima was one of the two locations where the atomic bomb was dropped, though he was pretty sure it was dropped "in the 50s during the Vietnam War."  I have seen the future, and it is ignorant.

Then there was the delightful little old lady who called and wanted books on gardening.  I could have spent all evening with her (and very nearly did).  Well educated, certainly from the East Coast (my guess was Rhode Island).  Has a voice EXACTLY like that of my first "voice teacher" (we saw each other for two weeks straight every year or so, and would sing for most of that time.).  Just the nicest person.  I did make a $140 sale by the time all was said and done, and I know that she'll be a loyal customer from now on, but (to my mind) more importantly we laughed together as I found and ordered her books.  She sounded both housebound and handicapped in some way (she had to call back later for something else as she needed to wait for someone to get home so that he could go upstairs and get some information for her) and clearly was delighted that someone would spend some time just chatting as well.  While she was rather time-consuming, it was worth every minute.

Part of the problem this evening was that we were so bloody short-staffed.  One cashier, one supervisor who spent most of his time either cashiering or answering calls for a supervisor from different areas of the store, one manager, and TWO people on the floor.  TWO.  Ergo, if one of us was on the phone, the other was swamped.  And that phone never did seem to stop ringing.  I was taking care of at least two lines for most of the evening.

At about 9 (we close at 11) I was told that I was in charge of the kids' section for cleanup.  I got back there just long enough to see that it looked as though a bomb had gone off over there.  I was called back to wait on customers and only got to start tidying at 10:40.  I could have cried.

All nights must end, however, and we finally left at about 12:20.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Shortly after nine (I think...time seemed to blur together a lot tonight) a diva friend stopped in to get some books.  While we didn't have a chance to talk, I did get a quick hug.  Someone (capital S)  must have known I needed one! 

The benadryl is starting to kick in, and I must go take out the contacts and then go to bed.  I am not in the least above sleeping twelve hours or so tonight.