Tidbits from "finals-next-week" week

Scene: last ear training class of the semester.  We're taking melodic dictation.  This is actually part of our final exam, which we're spreading over three class periods rather than one.  (Did I mention that I like this teacher?)

The teacher in question is an opera singer as well.  She will occasionally regale us with amusing stories of "Opera Directors I Have Known," "Ridiculous Performances, and How To Avoid Over-Self-Medicating Through Them," "The Soloist's Perspectives on Bridezilla," etc.  All quite amusing, and a welcome (if too-rare) diversion from ear training.

While giving us a "What Not to Do If You Don't Want To Sing The Rest Of The Run With Creative Costuming To Cover The Plaster Cast" talk yesterday, she noticed some rather incredulous expressions from non-singers in the class, and came up with the following gem:

"What, you don't think you can get hurt while singing opera?  Opera is like playing football in a ball gown."

Line of the week, right there.

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During the holidays, the shopping center in which The Bookstore is located hires off-duty police officers as security.  One officer is stationed outside the cafe doors at all times.  All he has to do is look as though his coffee cup is getting a bit low, and one of the cafe workers will hurry to make him another hot drink.  There have been a series of armed robberies of women on this street over the last week, and these officers (who make certain that one of them walks us to our cars post-shift) are a thoroughly welcome addition to the atmosphere du Bookstore.

Occasionally, of course, we'll have Generally Undesirable Characters hanging about the shopping center.  The cops are quick to keep an eye on such people, and will remove them as necessary.  If someone shows up and starts being Very, Very Weird in one of the stores and is removed, one of the officers will let the management of the other stores know so that they'll be aware.

Such an incident occurred last week.  The officer walked up to Brian (manager) and explained that "Just so you know, sir, we had to remove a person from two other stores in the center because he was causing a disturbance, screaming at people for no reason, and generally Behaving Badly.  If he comes by, call us and we'll remove him."

"Oh, okay," said Brian.  "Could you describe him?"

"He's an African-American male, about six feet tall, about three hundred pounds or so."

"Okay."

"He's wearing a bright red stretch dress."

Brian: Blinking

"Well, I shouldn't think he'd be difficult to identify."

No, dear readers, a lack of fashion sense is not a crime.  But I can tell you this: having seen this character, it really, really should be.

Later that same day:

Ma'am, just an FYI.  I don't mind dreadlocks.  I think they can look stunning when properly done.  I've even seen a few--admittedly, a few--white people manage that look.

You are dressed in a sort of hippy-chic style.  It isn't my style, but I can say that you can pull it off and look nice.  Brava.

However, when the bottom six inches of your waist-length dreads are covered in a fuzzy green mold, this will cause mild to moderate twitching on the part of the foolish bookseller who walks behind you.  Another bookseller was helping you find that book, so this bookseller could just walk rapidly past.

Ewwwwwww.

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The Tales of Beedle The Bard comes out TODAY!  TODAY, I TELL YOU!  SCREEEEEECH!  Of course it includes the famous "Babbitty Rabbitty and Her Cackling Stump."  May J.K. Rowling begin a new series soon!  Until then, I must be contented with purchasing this.

(end of nerd transmission)

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For the record: A piece of Ghiradelli chocolate + a cup of blueberry tea = utter decadence.  Take a nibble of chocolate with a sip of tea.  All together now: mmmmmmmmm!

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My reading habits, they are catching up with me.  At 21, I find that I need reading glasses in order to see music when playing the piano.  I can still read just fine without them; I can even sing from sheet music without them, because the words connect to the notes and I can find the words quickly.  On piano music (ie, sans lyrics), the notes tend to blur together because a) there are more of them and b) there are no "reference points" with words on the page.  The last straw was that in the last few lessons I've had, I'll be playing mostly by memory and glance up at the page to check something--and then have to pause for several seconds with my nose two inches from the page while squinting to try to find my spot.

I am disgusted. 

I've also noticed that piano can actually be enjoyable, provided that it is played with no expectations and no stress of "I need this to be perfect NOW."  Soothing, even.  Hmmm.  Must find a way to transfer this to lessons/performance.

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If I can get my computer to cooperate (hah!) I shall post pictures of the diva dress that I purchased yesterday.  It's a floor-length black-and-glittery-violet-eggplant creation.  Deep V-neck, rhinestoned shoulder straps, etc.  Need to lose 10-15 pounds for it to look really good and need to do a few minor modifications on it (won't take me more than an hour or two with a needle and thread).  I wasn't even looking for such a dress, but I flipped through the clearance formal rack just for the heck of it and found this gem for

(you won't believe this)

(really, you won't)

Twenty bucks.

I tried it on, checked for damage (found none), and it was MINE.