1 post tagged “clearly more coffee is in order”

At night, I wear an orthodontic retainer.  Despite several miserable years of braces, my teeth would like nothing better than to slide back into their old crooked and overbitten positions.  I was told to wear it during the day, too, but I'd far rather wear it at night for a few years than wear it day and night for two, as no one--and I do mean NO ONE--can understand what the heck I'm saying with that wretched device in my mouth. 

Anyhoo, last night, following the evening tooth-brushing, I put the retainer in and headed for bed.  All perfectly normal, etc.

This morning I awoke and made my usual remarks at the blaring alarm clock.  Again, perfectly normal.  An alarm that goes off before ten is, in my book, entirely too noisy entirely too early.

But this morning, those remarks were vaguely understandable.

Something was Not Right.

I'm not a morning person.  It took me a few minutes to comprehend my suddenly comprehendable speech.  Actually, it took stumbling over to the dratted alarm to make it all clear.

Or clear as mud, in any case.

I really want to know how the lower retainer--but not the upper one, mind you--ended up clear across the room on the floor in front of the bookcase.

I'll probably never know.