3 posts tagged “mornings”

Someone called me this morning at 7:12--yes, 7:12--to order a custom holster for his Sig Sauer.

Who in Hades orders custom holsters at barely-past-seven-AM?  (According to the area code, he called from San Antonio, so it isn't a though there was a time difference.)

I will say that he was quite polite when I explained that I have not nor do I ever expect to design custom holsters for handguns. 

Apparently he was one digit off when dialing.  Faaaaantastic.  I have a number that is one digit off from a guy who makes holsters?  Seriously?  Only in Texas.

At night, I wear an orthodontic retainer.  Despite several miserable years of braces, my teeth would like nothing better than to slide back into their old crooked and overbitten positions.  I was told to wear it during the day, too, but I'd far rather wear it at night for a few years than wear it day and night for two, as no one--and I do mean NO ONE--can understand what the heck I'm saying with that wretched device in my mouth. 

Anyhoo, last night, following the evening tooth-brushing, I put the retainer in and headed for bed.  All perfectly normal, etc.

This morning I awoke and made my usual remarks at the blaring alarm clock.  Again, perfectly normal.  An alarm that goes off before ten is, in my book, entirely too noisy entirely too early.

But this morning, those remarks were vaguely understandable.

Something was Not Right.

I'm not a morning person.  It took me a few minutes to comprehend my suddenly comprehendable speech.  Actually, it took stumbling over to the dratted alarm to make it all clear.

Or clear as mud, in any case.

I really want to know how the lower retainer--but not the upper one, mind you--ended up clear across the room on the floor in front of the bookcase.

I'll probably never know.

I am not a morning person.  I've mentioned this before.

This morning, I rolled out of bed, vowing, as I usually do, that this will be the last, the absolute penultimate LAST time that I work 'til midnight and then head in again at 8 or 9 the next morning.  Who really cares about massive college debt, anyway?  I mean, it's practically a status symbol at this point: who's the most in the hole after the cap-and-gown moment?  Really, I should just give up this whole "minimal loan" idea and just spend twenty years post-college paying some bank most of my monthly salary.  In fact, I think that I'll put a note on my agenda to take out a loan this very afternoon, just before I tell work (both of them) "sayonara."

Hey, whatever gets me up, right?  I said I wasn't a morning person.

I staggered over to the bathroom, washed my face, and put in my contacts.  I noted with disgust that my contacts didn't feel quite right, and chalked that up to having them in too recently.  As I was applying my makeup, I realized that I was having a hard time focusing, and had my face practically touching the mirror in order to see what I was doing.

I walked into my room to get dressed, and realized that I couldn't see at much of a distance, either.  Everything just seemed slightly blurred.  Oh, lovely.  (And no, I didn't have anything to drink last night.)

Suddenly, as I was fumbling around in my closet and trying to find a work-appropriate outfit, a thought broke through the morning fog.

Y'know, it's bloody amazing how much better one can see if one's contacts are in the CORRECT EYES.